Years of feeling “different” or “not good enough” leave many people with ADHD carrying heavy self-doubt. Rebuilding self-esteem starts with self-compassion and recognizing ADHD as a brain difference, not a personal failing.
A young professional once told me, “I feel like I’ve been apologizing my whole life.” Many people with ADHD hear constant criticism growing up—“try harder,” “pay attention,” “stop being lazy.” These repeated messages often take root as shame, creating a belief that they are somehow broken (Edbom, Granlund, Lichtenstein, & Larsson, 2008). Even as adults, each missed deadline or forgotten appointment can reinforce this painful narrative.
But ADHD is not about effort or morality—it is a neurological difference. When people begin to separate their worth from their symptoms, they open the door to healing (Barkley, Murphy, & Fischer, 2008).
Rebuilding self-esteem starts with self-compassion: speaking to yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a loved one. Another powerful step is to celebrate strengths. One client began writing down daily wins—creative ideas, acts of kindness, even small completions. Over time, she said, “I started noticing what I do right instead of only what I miss.”
Therapy, coaching, and peer support can also provide safe spaces to practice new ways of seeing yourself. Self-esteem doesn’t come from perfection, but from recognizing your value exactly as you are (Knouse & Safren, 2010).
About the Author
Dr. Adwoa Akhu is a licensed psychologist, author, and trainer specializing in stress resilience, burnout prevention, and ADHD support. She blends science, compassion, and practical tools to help people thrive.
References
- Edbom, T., Granlund, M., Lichtenstein, P., & Larsson, J. O. (2008). Long-term relationships between symptoms of ADHD and self-esteem in a prospective longitudinal study of twins. Acta Paediatrica, 97(1), 108–117.
- Knouse, L. E., & Safren, S. A. (2010). Current status of cognitive behavioral therapy for adult ADHD. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 33(3), 497–509.
- Barkley, R. A., Murphy, K. R., & Fischer, M. (2008). ADHD in adults: What the science says. Guilford Press.